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One step forward, twenty back

16 godina 0 +0 / -0 3045

Hi Everyone,

Monday was a very long day - we experienced numerous delays getting home and didn't return until late. We had to be back to work Tuesday. Needless to say I am physically and mentally tired now.

Vacation was nice in many ways. It would have been better if I could say there had been some progress in my relationship with my husband. It's still like the title of this - one step forward and twenty back.

I am working hard on myself and really trying to be positive but I must admit that if things are moving along toward the positive it is at a snail's pace. There are many times that I feel so neglected and I just want to scream. However, everything I've read says not to. Tonight I told my husband that I was tired of being the one to make the calls, initiate the text messages etc and that it would be nice if he would do so sometimes. He used to but since all this it's like I'm being punished. He is now ignoring me. Inside I am dying and I don't know what to do.

16 godina 0 +0 / -0 538

Hello Mom of 3,

How are you?

16 godina 0 +0 / -0 3045

any compost

or roses?

16 godina 0 +0 / -0 538

Hello Mom of 3,

Thank you for reassuring me that I did not step on any toes. As for being too tired to think I sure do understand that feeling. Hang in there, we are here for you and we will get through this. This too shall pass!

16 godina 0 +0 / -0 1693

Hang in there mom of 3. We're here for you,

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

16 godina 0 +0 / -0 3045

Hi Diva,

You did not overstep any bounds. I understood what you meant too. I know you're right - there may be no cure for this, I'm just extremely tired of the battle. I guess I want a cure right now because I'm so tired. But thank you for pointing those things out. It will give me a perspective to think about and help rearrange some thoughts. Right now I'm too tired. Will write later.

16 godina 0 +0 / -0 538

Hello Mom of 3,

I juist wanted to stop in an d say hello. Mostly I wanted to let you in on something htat helped me feel a lot better. It might not be any of my business and if it sounds preachy I am sorry it does not mean to be. Remember that english is not my first language as such I sometimes have trouble judging the tone of what I write. Well here goes.

A long time ago, I kept wanting to be cured of my "illness" like one is cured from acold. Also, I figured being cured was a state where all my sadness and anxieties would be under control. I also thought that maintaining what I had managed to learn meant getting it perfect. I am a perfectionnist as such I shoot for perfection. As such I always considered myself as sick, as not good enough, as crashing, as not maintaining, basically I felt I was wanting. And hey, I am not saying I don't have days where I still think that way or feel that way. But it is ok. That is the whole point. This is what I am slowly learning. For me cured is relative now. I am cured when I am mostly happy overall. I still get bad days but that is normal everybody does. I maintain what I have gained when overall I maintain it. sometimes I will do badly and have horrible days or even weeks. But I conseider that if my life is overall good in the long run I am ok, I am cured, I am maintaining. The funny thing is, this way of seeing thingss makes even the horrible moments more acceptable and easier to go through. And hey, if I am here, it is because I don't have all the answers and I don't always get it, etc. But I did want to share this with you because I think we are hard on ourselves and we are perfectionnits and as such we am for the perfect sure, the perfect happiness and we feel inadequate if we don't reach it. Anyway, I may be completely off base. What do I know? I just think success is a vaster concept that we think and just because there are dips and peaks, it does not mean we are not successful. But as I said, that is just my opinion.

Anyway, hope I have not overstepped any boundaries sharing this with you. It is just something that has made my life better and as such I wanted to share.

Hang in there. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on tight.

16 godina 0 +0 / -0 3045

Hi Wildcat,

Once again you make me smile with the way you put things. Thank you!

Hi Sylvie,

I really feel bad for thinking that I could maintain the success I had been having or thought I was having. I really was down this am when I wrote but am battling back because I'm sick of being down. I'm tired of losing and figure I must continue on even, as you said, when I don't feel like it. I am doing a little better but at times like this am I just crash and panic. Thank you for your input I will try making a list.

16 godina 0 +0 / -0 1288

Mom of 3, Sorry to hear you're feeling down. Try your best to be positive even if you don't feel like it right this second. You could always try making a list of all the things in your life that make you feel good or that puts a smile on your face. This can be very helpful when you're not of best of moods or when things don't seem to be going your way. Let us know if it helps! Sylvie, Bilingual Health Educator

16 godina 0 +0 / -0 3045

Hi MO3

have you thought that crap can be good? when you have an excellent meal! with the desert, wine, and coffee and all. where does most of it end up?

crap. and you do not keep it. you do not hold on to it, nor cherish it. you RELIEVE yourself of it.

and with out it most of the world would be dessert, lifeless, useless, sand.

it is the main ingredient of .... compost ....!

So you see the hike, the view, the feelings you generated are still inside of you and you can and recall them once you relieve yourself of this bad-hair-day stuff that blipped up. My basement had a fountain of sewer-crap thanks to the rain flood on the week-end... I had some big lessons on composting since. Lets see what we can plat together this weekend?

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One step forward, twenty back