bg, I can see the faith in yourself beginning to fade so please let us see if we can help you find a way. I had some things happen very early in my quit too that were extremely upsetting and stressful and I know many others have too. Have faith that quitting during a time like this is very doable. What you're experiencing is grief for the friend that knew. Your friend will have some good days and some bad ones and unfortunately, this may go on for quite some time...maybe even years. It IS heartbreaking. I know it is.
So, other than the serenity prayer...which is great...what is it that you can do that will help build your strength and confidence? You need to have a very strong and defined plan in place. What can you do to distract yourself when the thoughts become too much? Rent a movie? Read a book? Go shopping? Take a drive? Are you rewarding yourself? Doing things that make you happy and feel good? Can you go for a walk? These things help both physically and mentally. Most of all, you need to commit. Know in your heart that no matter what happens, you can get through it without smoking. Know that there will be times that you get tired and life will continually throw things at you...and life moves on. Nothing changes for the better if you smoke.
Someone posted this on the site once... It's an altered version of the serenity prayer...
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me."
What do you feel you need to make your quit a success? Lots of people want to help you, bg :) Hang in there.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/2/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 593
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 11,877
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2117.01
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 62 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 7 [B]Seconds:[/B] 47
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Quit Meter
$20,399.16
Amount Saved
-
Quit Meter
Days: 767
Hours: 2
Minutes: 34
Seconds: 1
Life Gained
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Quit Meter
5244
Smoke Free Days
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Quit Meter
104,880
Cigarettes Not Smoked
