Aloha, this is really not that different than any other emotional situation you've encountered since you quit, it's just more intense. So do what you've been doing, only more of it.
Go back to day 1, with the water & the breathing & the delay & distraction.
I know it's hard to do, but try to think of your son's leaving from his point of view, be happy for him, be glad you were in a position to have him come home when he needed to. You know, roots & wings.
WTF can't aloha cry? What's so special about you that you don't cry like the rest of us? Cry if you feel like crying, the sky won't fall & if you do instead of trying so hard not to do it, at least that stress will be gone. I don't know how much is normal, but it seems to me that as much as you need to, seems about right.
I don't know about your emotional development, maybe it isn't true that traumatic events or addiction arrest it. All I know is, it's something most of us have in common and it's something we each have to deal with in our own way. For what it's worth, aloha, I would say you have enough going on right now without delving into the "why's" of our own psyche. Never mind why just for now, and do whatever makes you feel better.
Please e-mail or call me if you still feel this bad tonight. Don't smoke. Pen might have been a little rough on you but he's right in that it won't change anything and it won't give you any answers.
Hang in, buddy. Everybody has tough times, some REALLY tough, & non-smokers don't smoke.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]5/13/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 130
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,600
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1,430.00
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 13 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 50 [B]Seconds:[/B] 34
