Tryagain, I feel your anger! It burns from the screen!
From what you say, I feel that you are grieving for what you have "lost". The five stages of grief are 1. Denial, 2. Anger, 3. Bargaining, 4. Depression and finally, 5. Acceptance. You are stuck on 2 (or even 4?) and need to find some way of moving on towards 5. It really is a nice feeling to just feel accepting of the fact that you will never smoke again. Everyone I know keeps telling me how calm I am now - I used to think smoking calmed me down, obviously it didn't.
Instead of focussing on your craves, try to divert your attention elsewhere - have a cup of tea, do some knitting, do a jigsaw, play computer games, read a book, watch a movie ... do ANYTHING other than just sit there and think about how "great" a cigarette would be. After 279 days, it would taste disgusting, you would feel the nicotine hit your brain about 2 seconds after you drag and then you would feel like an abject failure. 279 days of "fighting" gone, just like that ... I know it's hard but you can do it - look at some of the veterans on this site. They are living proof it can be done.
I'm on a cold turkey quit and it's been hell (I've been hellish to live with!) but it is getting better. I try to focus on the positives of quitting and, hardest of all, staying calm. Chocolate helps! Good luck, hope to keep seeing you in here with your meter still going the right way (you have less than three months to go to have that all important first year under your belt!).
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]9/23/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 40
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,000
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $480.00
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 36 [B]Seconds:[/B] 6
