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Barely hanging on... fed up... and scared

16 godina 0 +0 / -0 597

Glad to hear the sun is shining on you once more!

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 10/22/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 246
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 9,840
Amount Saved: $1,968.00
Life Gained:
Days: 27 Hrs: 17 Mins: 12 Seconds: 28

Quit Meter

$57,320.00

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 823 Hours: 11

Minutes: 55 Seconds: 37

Life Gained
Quit Meter

5732

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

229,280

Cigarettes Not Smoked

16 godina 0 +0 / -0 2778

Hey Cat!

Top of the mornin' to you, and the rest of the day for me!

I hope that you have been catching up on your sleep and are in a better place this morning!!!

A lot of members went through the paces you are experiencing at this juncture in the journey... in between major milestones, forgetting about rewards and sometimes forgetting about maintaining that PMA! Although all of our quits are different, most of us experience what I call the doldrums. During these times, I did find it helpful to go back and read the quit journal, the list of reasons and a lot of old posts! Sometimes it really helps to do this and recommit to the quit and get yourself psyched up again like you were in the beginning! It helped me; maybe it will work for you!

Push on, Catwoman!!!

Jim

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 3/5/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 477
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 11,925
Amount Saved: $1,967.63
Life Gained:
Days: 80 Hrs: 20 Mins: 20 Seconds: 14

Quit Meter

$47,992.50

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1171 Hours: 18

Minutes: 49 Seconds: 32

Life Gained
Quit Meter

6399

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

191,970

Cigarettes Not Smoked

16 godina 0 +0 / -0 289

Oh Cat I am so glad that you are feeling better and didn't give into that nasty nico-demon!!!

Lisa

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 6/28/2009
Smoke-Free Days: -2
Cigarettes Not Smoked: -50
Amount Saved: $-9.38
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 0 Mins: 0 Seconds: -15443

16 godina 0 +0 / -0 625

Hi Cat........Here's a morning *hugggggg*.... and my hand. Grab hold as long as you need to. I'm hoping things are better for you today.

Keep the Quit

huggggggs and cooooookies

Bob

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 1/27/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 149
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 4,470
Amount Saved: $625.80
Life Gained:
Days: 31 Hrs: 4 Mins: 55 Seconds: 22

16 godina 0 +0 / -0 916

I'm glad you are having a better day!!

I'm really happy you posted!

Marivi

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 1/23/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 152
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 2,280
Amount Saved: $228.00
Life Gained:
Days: 17 Hrs: 8 Mins: 36 Seconds: 30

16 godina 0 +0 / -0 1843

Cat, glad to hear that today is a better day! I wish you a good night's sleep!
My Milage:

My Quit Date: 8/20/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 308
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 12,320
Amount Saved: $3,080.00
Life Gained:
Days: 46 Hrs: 0 Mins: 27 Seconds: 49

16 godina 0 +0 / -0 880

cat

Good for you, nothing like physical exercise to raise the old neurotransmitters. That is what it is all about for me, finding ways to get the outlook lined up with the view. You are doing fine, I know it gets tough, but that is just when you have to get a wee bit tougher. It can be done, although I will admit we don't always know that for sure. Keep posting you are not alone...

nonic

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 12/25/2006
Smoke-Free Days: 912
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 27,360
Amount Saved: $9,576.00
Life Gained:
Days: 174 Hrs: 3 Mins: 10 Seconds: 21

Quit Meter

$71,767.50

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1571 Hours: 10

Minutes: 47 Seconds: 26

Life Gained
Quit Meter

6835

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

205,050

Cigarettes Not Smoked

16 godina 0 +0 / -0 115

Marivi, Karren, Dave, Jim, Sarah, PB, Brenda, Nonic, Rock,Penitent, Bob, Lillyput, MissMarple, Breather and last but not Lisa- and everybody else (goodness, I feel like I'm starting into a speech :-))

Thank you thank you thank you!!!

I am always amazed at the fact that when you feel the most alone, when you actually almost provoke your own solitude by *****ing at others, there are still people there understanding and supporting you.

I think I believed that things were supposed to get BETTER as time went on. They do in many ways. BUT the addict gets more and more tricky, stabs you from behind, it knows all your arguments and becomes deceitful, wicked and very very clever. And more subtle: you think it's yourself speaking, but its still the addict.

I also found the posts you bumped, Dave, fascinating. The one on self-pity is extremely helpful to me. And the other one, lashing out at all our doubts, fears, self-pity and basically telling us to shut up and get our act together is amazing. Not only does it harshly atteck all us quitters: but it is also written by a quitter in about the same phase as I am now: thus venting his anger onto the others on the site and lashing out. So doubly interesting for me :-)

I am thankfully better today, even though still wrecked from yesterday's emotions and frustration.

No cigarettes. Thank goodness.

Went to the gym and did a pilates/yoga class- and then a combat class, where I vented all my anger and venom into an imaginary opponent, whom I slammed my fists, knees and feet into for one hour.

Feeling better.

And going to bed EARLIER today. Not sleeping enough. Part insomnia. But also part the fact that I, like a little girl, find it difficult to force myself to bed.

Will be a good girl today.

Catwoman :-)

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 4/14/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 71
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 1,420
Amount Saved: �326.60
Life Gained:
Days: 5 Hrs: 16 Mins: 52 Seconds: 51

16 godina 0 +0 / -0 802

Cat, I hope you're doing better today. I, too, have been where you are. It's not fun. I hope for you that it is short-lived, and you can see the sunshine again. I have nothing stellar to add, but I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you, and to let you know that life is very good on the other side. I doubted it a few times when people told me to hang in, that it would get better, but now I know it's true, and you will find out too.

Jazz
My Milage:

My Quit Date: 1/3/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 538
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 10,760
Amount Saved: $4,088.80
Life Gained:
Days: 58 Hrs: 17 Mins: 57 Seconds: 23

16 godina 0 +0 / -0 289

Cat step back one minute and look at me............... I threw away a 9 month quit, because I let the nico demon convince me on a bad day that it just wasn't worth the struggle of saying and sticking to N.O.P.E, I was sooooooooooo stupid and now I am so sorry cause starting over is way harder than I ever dreamed it would be. You did the right thing by coming here to vent, it shows that you are still saying and living by N.O.P.E.!!! Don't ever give in it TRULY is not worth what you lose, I promise you that! Take some deep breaths and get that Ice water. I hope that you don't feel that I'm butting in since I'm still trying to find my forever quit but I really don't want to see you lose your quit and be where I am now, Just keep hanging in there.

Lisa

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 6/28/2009
Smoke-Free Days: -3
Cigarettes Not Smoked: -75
Amount Saved: $-14.06
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 0 Mins: 0 Seconds: -24729

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Barely hanging on... fed up... and scared